A Dimension of Trees (and other related creatures)

        Congratulations, and welcome to the exiting field of inter-dimensional travel. You are just beginning your first steps into what is sure to be a career of excitement and new discovery.        You are almost ready to begin your journeys into other dimensions, but first, to help you along your way, this instructional pamphlet has been created to help you cope with the unique challenges that will await you in your career ahead. In the following pages we will brief you on what our scientists currently know of the alternate dimensions to which you will be traveling, and what to expect when you get there. We will also cover some basic cultural information, survival techniques, and other information you may find helpful. Finally, the back page of this pamphlet will provide you with a form onto which you can enter your living will. This document should be filled out, signed, notarized, and provided to the dimensional quartermaster before you embark.         So, the best of luck to you, our first dimensional explorers. May your journeys be swift, and the worlds you find verdant and laden with resources the the good of democracy.

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Tree Universe 27-alpha:         Discovered in the first year of exploration by Dimensional Command and the site of a continued command presence since 2304, this site was originally classified as an uninhabited forest. Further examination, however, has revealed that this dimension is home to two dominant species: trees, and humans.         Although trees within this dimension are exactly like trees in our current dimension, the appearance of humans within this zone can be a bit confusing, leading to the original classification as an uninhabited dimension. Humans within this realm are indistinguishable from trees. They look and act like trees, have tree like features and structures, do not have traditional human biological components, and spend their lives living a tree-like life cycle.         Some of our scientists have argued that calling these creatures human is a fallacy, and that they should be correctly classified as trees. They point to the fact that, because they are indistinguishable from trees, no one has of yet been able to identify a human in the realm. Furthermore, some speculate that the classification of some trees as human by early survey teams might have been a mistaken entry on the complex survey paperwork, or even one of the survey team member’s idea of a joke or retaliation for having to fill out the 37-page documents. However, due to the subsequent deaths of these original team members in a transference accident, and the fact that their alternate dimensional counterparts are by definition evil and cannot be trusted to provide further information, it is assumed that the original assessment of both tree and human inhabitants is correct.         Because of the difficulty in distinguishing trees and humans, it is recommended that all service members, when encountering a possible human or tree, first address the tree using standard greetings. Any suspected human/tree which does not respond should be considered a possible threat to the mission, and accordingly incapacitated. Although standard procedure dictates that uncooperative natives should be returned to command for interrogation, past dealing with local inhabitants of this realm have proven ineffective, and a costly drain on base resources of light, potting soil, water, etc. Thus, the taking of prisoners is not authorized in this case.

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