A Modicum of Service

In order to generate the funds necessary to maintain this website, I have decided to offer the following services to all interested parties.  Please note, all prices are listed in standard brownie points (þ).

Count the number of cats I see in one week and provide you with this figure … 142 þ.

Address one of my personal belongings by a (polite) name of your choosing for 1 week … 201 þ.

Speculate on the future of any given subject, concept, or object, and provide you with a brief monograph on my thoughts … 411 þ.

Sit in a chair on your behalf for 10 minutes … 87 þ.

Suggest a possible name for your beard, pony tail, bald spot, pig tails, or other hair style feature … 307 þ.

Eat one raisin on your behalf, and provide you with a brief monograph about the experience … 690 þ.

Suggest the method of outmoded transportation that would have best suited your personality, had you been born in a different era … 851 þ (or best offer).