An Assiduous Commitment to Updating the Blog (and other qualities I am lacking)

What a sad and lonely state I have left you all in, my non-existent readers.  I know, I know, I said that I would make an effort this summer to make regular publications here a habit, and I have failed.  You must all hate me—if not the fact that you are all figments of my imagination.  <sigh> But perhaps I can make amens.  Would it placate you to know I come bearing gifts?  Of course it would, and here they are.  Just look around you.  Completely updated and redesigned!  New templates.  New CSS.  New database backend.  New and improved!

Huh?  What's that?  That snickering there?  Why…can't you see it?  Well…subtle, yes.  It's subtle.  Rather subtle, anyway.  But look at that…aaaa…the, um…well.  I mean.

Very well, I suppose you can't really see the changes.  I mean not on the surface you can't.  But can't you just feel it?  Doesn't it have that ‘new blog glow’ about it?  Doesn't it? <sigh>

Alright fine.  I can do better.  No, no, I can.  Here, look.  Scroll on down to the bottom of the page.  See that! Ha Ha!  That's right!  Twitter posts!  A whole new form of up to the minute web technology that I will soon grow tired of and abandon just like that whole silly blogging thin…  Well, I won't make any promises this time.  But you never know.

Ok ok ok, I know what you want.  Fine, I give in.  You're right.  It's the least I can do (I mean after imagining you all up and then building this whole blog for you to read and then spending 4, no 5, 5 whole paragraphs apologizing for not updating it).

Huh?  What's that?  No I didn't say anything?  Hey, look over there!  It's an honest to goodness new feature!  Comments! Now you can be critical even when I'm not around.  Aww, I know.  I love you guys too.  Just try and be civil—I've imagined some kids who come by here sometimes and I don't want to get imaginary phone calls from their imaginary parents.

More to come, I (don't) promise!